2010
11.28
Thanksgiving -  passing a kidney stone

Thanksgiving - passing a kidney stone

This is how I spent my Thanksgiving, 11/25/10, in an Emergency Room passing a kidney stone. This is my third stone to pass. The first time was four years ago, about three weeks before my first son was born.

When a kidney stone hits you you know it at first by having a dull throbbing pain in the small of your back. You have a bloated feeling in your stomache that progresses to nausea.  Cold chills.   Uncontrollable shaking.  Teeth chattering.  And it eventually all breaks down to a clammy, cold sweat.    It’s really beyond your control and I believe it’d put the strongest man down on the ground.

When you’re in the ambulance being driven to the hospital the EMTs love to ask you lots of questions. I pat myself on the back both time’s I’ve done this for being able to think clearly enough to give them my date of birth and social security through a frothing mouth and blurred vision. They ask you all the, “are you allergic to any medications?” questions, and again, it’s mind numbing  just to think of your own name during this process.   But when that first cold strain of nausea medicine kicks into your arm from an IV drip life is a little better.

Once you’re in the hospital, laying on the stretcher, convulsing after your first batch of pain medicine has worn off, you have lots more people come and ask more intelligent questions. “So, what’s the problem buddy?”, “you feeling some pain?” It’s almost as if kidney stones were never covered in medical school or nursing classes.  I know it was Thanskgiving and everyone working that day had drawn the short straw. While  I may not have had the “B” team working for me that day, because I like to think everyone is a professional, I definitely had “B” team mentality working for me that day.  Some more of the great questions I got were, “you seem to be asking some of the same questions, sir”   We’re concerned about your brain right now”.  I didn’t feel any of my questions were repeated for no reason or were insignificant requests.  I had asked for water more than an hour ago and still hadn’t gotten any.   And I very vocally asked for pain meds the third or fourth episode of pain that hit me.   I wasn’t nice about it that time.   Pain is a wonderful motivator and observes very few social niceties.

I mentioned I’d had my first stone 4 years ago.   It hit me the very first day of teacher inservice.   I broke out into a cold sweat as we all sat assembled in the library of the school.  These are meetings they make teachers go to a few days before school starts, before the students have to show up.   They’re basically mental bootcamp and ra ra meetings to get teachers back into the mind set to do what we have to do.   They have always felt like the most torturous, invasive, waste of time procedures in the world.  Of these preschool meetings, it seems to be an unwritten rule not to give you any time in your room to prepare or get your self ready for the school year.  I believe they teach this in administrator school.  It seems to be looked at as a weakness that anyone would require preparation time when that really is all that’s on your mind the whole time.  Asking for it also is completely frowned upon.  I look at them as if I’m being violated and just wait for them to be over.  I look at them like a I do a plane flight…I just keep my head down and count down the minutes till it’s up.

As this particular meeting progressed the pain grew more and more.   I was barely able to drive my self home with each wave of pain and nausea causing uncontrollable convulsions.   Once I got home  I tried to sweat it out another two hours before I called my wife for help.   I finally got a ride from an ambulance and spent the rest of the night in the ER.

As much pain as is involved in passing a kidney stone I mentioned to my wife at the time that I’d rather go through this than sit in those teacher’s meetings.  I’m still fighting and passing this third one but I still stand by that assertion.

Happy Thanksgiving all.

6 comments so far

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  1. Don’t DO that! Yikes! Time to send a phaser up there and knock them planetoids out!

    Get better and stay better, sir.

  2. Trust me. Would if I could.

  3. Seriously, have you considered a nephrectomy? I’ve never heard of anyone on dialysis getting kidney stones. Maybe doc could give you a pill so you could grow a new kidney.

  4. You know…. the last pain medication I was given at an ER when my back disc was thrown out of whack, had me so happy and floating. My brain was somewhat fried. Oh and the nausea medicine shot in the IV, only enhanced the buzz factor too. I recall the same quetions alot from them too. However, my pain shot lasted like two days, I was wiped-out. So when your next “stone” pops-up around the holidays again (since its a predictable pattern and joy-filled tradition now) ask them to load you with that drug that stays with you for days. Then you won’t be as vocal nor give a damn either. Layoff those foods you mentioned too, maybe that was the cause (?) Stick with more greasy foods and such, that way the stones get lubricated for easier passage. Besides, clogged artieries are not as painful as kidney rocks.

  5. Good advice Keith. You need to be a doctor, which by the way (doctors) are the subject of a future blog.

  6. You mean like the last doctor I went to? Who spent 10 minutes with me and charged $200.00 for the visit? That comes out to $20.00 per minute, which translets to $1200.00 per hour rate. Thus, he sees maybe 6 patients per hour,works a 6 hour day. Thence, he’ll make about $7,200.00 per day for a grande total of $36,000.00 per M-F work week. At minimum, 40 weeks of work he’ll earn $1,440,00.00 a year from us sick people. This makes sense as to how they can afford their lifestyle of wine in every room and parties every weekend.

    Can you get medical degrees on-line? For that type of pay I’ll attend!